I used to interpret the saying “Marriage is not for small boys” to mean small boys in terms of age, until I visited a female mentor that has been in marriage for 47 years. I asked, “so what’s your secret to your Golden 47 Years?” Beaming, she retorted. My daughter, the expectations you bring into marriage will either spell its doom or success. I married my husband without expectations of enjoying his money or having to live in a luxurious lifestyle, but with time, my patience, hard work and God fearing attitude yielded results of getting all what money could buy for me and my children. You see, if a woman keeps nagging in any household, she pushes the spirit of her husband from their home. If you make the man unhappy, you definitely create tension and discomfort in your home. So I married without any expectations from my husband but simply to always respect his wishes, which were in this case, to always make him happy ~ you wonder how? By not defying him.
Yes, for the past 47 years, I would be the first to get up from the bed and the last to go to bed. Bathed our children, did devotions with them, prepare breakfast for my husband and always made sure to run his bath water as soon as he got up. In return I would received respect, undivided attention and unconditional love. He would insist to help in whatever he found me doing and it could turn out a wonderful time spent together. I asked my dear mentor, so what does the man do in return if the woman has literally done all the rounds. She laughed all heart and hearty and replied; You see, this is the mistake you young ones are making in your marriages. YOU DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE and EXPECT THE SAME IN RETURN. Wrong! When it becomes your attitude to only please your husband or wife always, the other person person responds NATURALLY. Indeed, if nothing touches the snake, it won’t rattle.
She continued, my dear daughter, never carry “ how rich or poor your family is” into your marriage. After all, you knew very well the status of your family and decided to marry that man or woman, RIGHT?! Love only compels would-be couples into marriage it it doesn’t sustain marriage. Rather understanding, patience, communication, and MOST IMPORTANTLY forgiveness. It sustains any marriage. Any sort of expectations, especially when you overrate it are a symptom of a DIVORCE. With time, some of the things one desires to have from their partners usually dwindle in swiftly, depending on the strength of their relationship. Some may give up along the way, up what’s the point of starting if your know you’re headed for quits pit? To cut the long story short, as too many cooks spoil the broth, she concluded on the mistakes a couple should resist all costs in marriage.
1. Never claim that you’ve made your husband or wife somebody to nobody. It hurts. God only used you as an agent for transformation, Give God all the Glory!
2. Let the man be the head of the home, regardless of his financial, economic, and emotional health situation prevailing in the couple’s life whilst Us women exercises diligence in the use of the tongue.
3. Having children should not be the ultimate objective in the marriage. They are given to enhance your marriage. When God delays in giving you a child, have every Eason to live a happy marital life.
4. Sex is very important most especially after a hard and knackered day at work. Try to be sexual beings and not “Angels” in that marriage. Try new things, spice it up every now and them. Take role and enjoy the right of intimacy in your marriage.
5. Resort to GOD and GOD ONLY. Quit running to “friends” to help you solve your marital wrangles, they too are ruining to “other people” to get the Sam she’ll so whatever they give you is always unfiltered and uncertain.
Indeed, marriage is not for boys, as they struggle to forgive, demand for everything speedily, lack the patience to wait, have so many friends and easily cheat emotionally. In the name of wanting to have “some space” from their partners. Male every effort to let that marriage work and may God help us All.